Mental Health Humor and Cartoons

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Mental Health Humor : 5 Question FRIDAYS : Love and Mental Illness - Welcome to 5 Question Fridays! Our weekly post that gives us a chance to get to know our readers and tap into their knowledge and experience.

Today, we are talking with My Wife, Chato’s Wife. Married 17 years this October. She has seen every side of mental disorders and she is still standing, and still loving me. Why you may ask? Is it my great looks? My once Sexy body? Or did I just fool her and made her suffer ever since? Well, let’s put her in the hot seat! If you’re a provider or caregiver, I’m sure you will find some common ground with her answers… If you’re a consumer / patient she just might help you in dealing with your own relationships. I guess, we won’t find out until we ask so now it’s time for our 5 Question Fridays.

Chato: Thanks baby for sticking with me for the last 17 years! July 5th marks 18 years since we started dating. Since we are not here to get into the lovey, dovey stuff, let’s just skip that and get right to the “mental Illness”. When did you start to notice that my behavior was more then a cool, awesome, sexy man and there might be something wrong?

Chato’s Wife: —Well, in retrospect, there probably were little signs toward the beginning of our marriage but to a person without “specific” knowledge of symptoms associated with Bipolar Disorder, those “signs” went totally undetected by me at the time. That’s why I think education about mental illness is so vital. I think everyone needs a basic knowledge of signs to look for that are indicative of a severe illness so one can better help a loved one. I think your reaction to your father’s death and our subsequent time in Europe revealed there was something more than just “grieving” over your Dad going on. Over time, your increasing moodiness and extreme emotional reactions to ordinary things - clicked to me that something was wrong. Also, increasing temper tantrums and sensitivities, lack of tolerance to minor things, were a big eye opener to me because you never lost your temper before; earlier in our relationship! Then at times when you would be so down and stop functioning and interacting/communicating much with me made it apparent you needed some help that I couldn’t give.

Chato: So all that time went by with me undiagnosed how did you handle it then? And how did you feel when I finally got a label to place on my moods?

Chato’s Wife: —It was extremely, extremely difficult to say the least! I’m not going to paint a rosy picture here. But a realistic one. I didn’t understand fully what was going on and totally blamed myself for your bad moods and our lack of good communication. So, I tried harder to make you happy and encourage you and comfort you but when nothing I said or did helped or made much of a difference in your ever changing moods - it left me feeling helpless, inadequate at times but not hopeless. My faith in God and total reliance on him through Prayer was what got me through!! Also, the depth of love I had for you and the knowledge, the belief in my heart that the “real” person was there some where underneath, hiding behind all this over the top emotion! I had hope that you would return to me somehow, someday, some minute! So, I would hold on to that….I lived for that. Your moods at times would rapidly change, so I learned to wait/endure and enjoy the balanced happy moments and tried to learn “positive” coping skills for the other times. And the beautiful moments of balance - when you were you - were so worth it!! I learned to live my life around your moods - endure the bad ones and pray/wait for the good ones. When we finally learned that the mood swings were caused by a disorder and internal and not “my fault” - I was sooo relieved!! I felt a brick wall of guilt I was carrying - lift off. Some how I felt if I was a better wife, better communicator or more loving it would help you…Since I seemed to trigger most of your mood swings…and still do

Chato: O.k. so now “I’m bipolar”, oooooh scary, right, but I’m taking meds so I must be cured. Can you tell my readers what the difference was when I was on my medications?

Chato’s Wife: —Night and Day! I have my husband back…although, there are still break through symptoms and side-effects. Which I’m learning not to expect from you what you cannot do. When you’re balanced, we communicate well and can handle anything together. When you’re balanced, we really have no issues in our relationship just outside stress to deal with. But when you’re not balanced and paranoid - it feels like everything I say or do is a trigger. Unfortunately, the sicker you become, the mental illness and moods/emotions push the “real” you to the background and a stranger - sometimes a complete stranger comes for a visit. I’ve noticed the longer you went without medication - the longer it has taken for your recovery. When you are balanced - I have my best friend on earth back - Yahoo!!

Chato: Now some times things happen on meds and the disorder can take a wrong course. Now I make light of mental disorders with the cartoon to heal bring a little humor to a tense and life threating disease. I know you don’t want me asking this but I think it needs to be asked and it just might help a few people.

Can you tell us was there ever a time or times when you felt unsafe and needed to take drastic actions?

Chato’s Wife: -Actually yes - many times. When the disorder was controlling you and you weren’t controlling the disorder through medication and therapy! One time, I had to flee the sinking ship because you refused the life jacket - how do you reach and help someone who can’t swim? is fighting you, refusing your help and has lost total touch with reality and about to die?…so, I couldn’t drown with my kids and let you die - so I realized that no other measure could save you or our family. It was the hardest thing I ever had to do. You knew I promised to be with you as your wife and I take my vow very seriously cause I love You and I love God. So, when I unexpectedly left one day and flew up North with the kids and you didn’t know where I was - it would shake you, wake you up so to speak and force you to act and help yourself! As soon as I was in a safe place with the kids (long before I took that flight) - I called the police to have them “help” you get to a facility but you refused them too at first. My fleeing from you with the kids became a total “reality” wake up slap in the face you needed to save you from the scary, life-threatening episode you were in. You ended up getting help…and to make a long story short - we were reunited and we have a beautiful blessing that came out of that terrible trial - our third daughter, Baby Belly!

Chato: My last question is more for our caregivers reading this… If you could tell them anything from what you have learned about dealing with your sexy, nutty husband, what would it be?

Chato’s Wife: —Don’t take the mood swings PERSONALLY! It’s not you and not your fault! Please don’t expect more “emotionally” from your loved one than they can give. We all have our limits. And when someone is ill either physically or mentally their needs for a time are more. It’s a fact that comes with the territory. Obviously, as a caregiver you need to be unselfish and use this as an opportunity to demonstrate your love! I wouldn’t wish any illness on anyone or any family - but it’s certainly a time for deep, personal growth. You can let a situation make you bitter or make you better! Please let it make you Better! A better loving, caring, empathetic person. Cause we are all dealing with something in one way or another. We all need compassion! Please Don’t Give Up Hope for a better, happier tomorrow! The emotional roller coaster ride does EVENTUALLY stop and if you help your loved one follow and stick to their treatment plan - you can get off the ride safely - in time!! When it rains, yes, sometimes it pours but the rain always stops and the Sun comes out!! Take time for you too - take care of yourself too because an empty well gives no water! Life isn’t just about us - as caregivers, we learn the meaning of “their is more happiness in giving then their is in receiving!” So THANK YOU CHATO - for teaching me the real meaning of Love, Happiness and “I do”!

BONUS QUESTION: My article about us was just published in the Florida Peer Network Newsletter (PDF link) . The article is on page 4 and 5 under the category “Stories of Survival and Recovery” titled: My Wife, My Love, My Trigger. It is a very personal and gripping true story about us. My question is, will you love me for ever?

Chato’s Wife: —Of course…You know the answer to that!

Permission granted for non-profit use by artist: Chato B. Stewart.

^^^ When using this cartoon on your non-profit blog you must link us ^^^

Thanks for dropping by:
Chato B. Stewart
Mental Health Advocate - Cartoonist - and a few other things!
http://www.mentalhealthhumor.com

“Using Humor to Heal and Educate with badly drawn cartoons.”

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