Feb 15 2009
Finding my way back to balance… Too Bipolar.
Finding my way back to balance… Too Bipolar.
Hi all! I’m sorry I’ve been away these last few weeks. I am still working here at home and drawing and designing. I’m looking into a few different options for work. Well the truth is I’m just flat out lost. The last three weeks or more I’ve not been able to do much of what I have to do. I have been putting my own advice to work with dealing with these feelings… It did not help that last week, I reconnected with many of my old school mates. At first I felt great about it, but the more I dug into the people I knew the more I felt vulnerable and exposed. See growing up, many of them knew me in three very different stages in my life and quite frankly, I was worried about something that I never really cared about before… Acceptance. None of them really every new about many inner demons and battles. I was always a loner and went along to a beat of my own drum. I was called crazy, psyco, nut job, weirdo and a lot of other choice names. I never really cared… but now, well, now the fact is that with me admitting publicly that I live with Bipolar Disorder and that I do “have” a mental illness… Well, it now makes me wonder if just maybe, they were right!
The good thing for this seemingly huge obstacle I’ve come out from is that many of my old school mates have been dealing with mental health within their family or friends. I have had the pleasure to have a few heartfelt conversations about the subject. So much so that the anxiety and vulnerability has all but subsided.
Now only if i could find that balance tonight as I write…
With that I’ll leave you with a thought I had after reading someone’s favorite quotations: “what doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger” but always thought it went “what doesn’t kill you, gives you time to get the bat.”
